I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
