Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
