you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just high enough for therapy.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize