Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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