Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
