A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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