I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
well you can't waste a boner
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
