just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize