he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize