mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize