he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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