I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
