Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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