Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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