Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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