im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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