I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
