I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just found puke in my bra..
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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