My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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