New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
