Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
