Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
