Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
