Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
