Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
then he tried to convert me to islam
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
