I got chris browned last night
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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