Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
