Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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