Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
