How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
