yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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