Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
