I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
