I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
