Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
