We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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