So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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