I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
