id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
