So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I AM VODKA MAN
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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