Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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