I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
