Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
