She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
