just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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