i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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