Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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