yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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