Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
