Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize