i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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