He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
