rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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