I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
