make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
