question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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