Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
