it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It's just like the Real World with babies
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
