If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I wish I only lived at night.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
