I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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