i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
