I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
that is very illegal...i love you.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
