i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
