would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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