But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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